You got me runnin’ wild, wild and free
The open road is all i need
You got me runnin’ wild runnin’ free
It’s never gonna be like it used to be
Tell me something, and for once, consider sincerity an imperative, if virtuousness is something for the grown-ups who has told versions of the truth a little short of a million times already — can life really be this damn good?
I know, I know, I must have said it way more than I should. If WordPress had a quota for sappy-happy entries, I would have long been booted off from this island. But I shall keep reminding myself, lest I forget.
I have already repeatedly advertised that I have the best support system in the world, and up until recently I have written about finally (hallelujah) arriving at a decision on what to do not just after graduation but during the months leading to it. And it’s not about these major sources of pride either — the little things play their part. These days I usually catch myself beaming ear to ear just mainly because of them, like tonight, for example. My bestfriends from high school came over, and in between those photo-ops that seems to be the thread that holds every holiday reunion together, I found myself grinning over how simple and easy everything just is when you are with old friends. These are some of the people that know you best after all, and finding the five of you crammed into your double bed one random December night fighting over your old comforter because somewhere along gossiping and the spoonfuls of ice cream it got way too cold for words isn’t the least bit strange. On the contrary, everything feels in place.
It doesn’t stop at that. You find yourself alone typing away at one in the morning while nestling a cup of mom’s spaghetti (knees weak, mom’s spaghetti :D) and popping piece after piece of your favorite chocolate into your mouth as you scan the guidelines for a writing gig you just scored this afternoon. And you love everything about it — every nitty-gritty detail about the way you are tired but would rather be writing than sleeping, anyway; how your living room looks like Santa’s sleigh exploded as torn gift wrappers are everywhere ; how you find that you are actually looking forward not just to getting together with your college friends tomorrow evening but also to going out with a new friend sometime soon; how you are scared as fuck over applying for a writing fellowship but you never really knew you could be on-the-edge excited about at the same time because you have never wanted something quite as bad before — and with things we want the most, with the desires that burn in our skin, isn’t it just appropriate that you have replaced elementary emotions with extremities that make you feel, for every waking minute from now on, that you are this-is-cliche-but-it-could-only-be-summed-up-with-this-word alive?
It is just amazing, however fleeting this sense of contentment is reputed to be. Let’s just revel in that for now. :)